Till Death Do Us Part
by iMisa
Summary: Damon is saved, but not without consequence. Stefan is gone, and Damon's near death experience causes Elena to re-evaluate her feelings.  Takes place end of season 2.
1. PREFACE

Elena sat in front of the fireplace, where she had been for hours after Katherine had left. Her face was void of any emotion, her eyes distant, and posture slack. Her body was in the room, but her mind was somewhere else. Damon watched from the hallway and wondered, his pale eyes reflecting the angry flames that crackled and hissed along the coals near her feet. He was desperate to go over and comfort her, and at this point, it was not his pride keeping him from advancing in to the room, nor the fact that she probably wouldn't notice his presence, anyway. Damon's own mind was swimming, questions rising, as well as an infuriatingly confusing mix of hope and despair. She had kissed him; he had felt the connection between them, even though it had lasted mere seconds. He had seen the look in her eyes, as she pulled away. He had also seen the look in her eyes as Katherine walked in, her identical features as smug as ever.

"_It's okay to love both of them, Elena." Katherine smiled, turning to leave the room. Throwing a last amused glance over her shoulder, she added, "I did."_

Grimacing, Damon shook himself from the memory. Rolling back the sleeve of his shirt, he stared down at his bare forearm. It was smooth, flawless. No remnants of the bite lingered; he was cured. But at what price? The loss of his brother? Rage consumed him at Stefan's thoughtless stupidity. How could he do that to Elena? She _needed_ him. And while he might now have the audacity to question whether or not she needed Damon just a much, there was no question in his mind that she would fall apart without his brother. Katherine's lingering words would haunt her as well, he knew because he could still clearly recall the guilt tugging at her features once the words had left the original doppelganger's lips.

"Damon?"

Blinking, Damon realized he had been staring at his arm. Yanking the sleeve down, he cleared his throat, lifted his gaze, and his jaw went slack. He hadn't noticed Elena stand up, or how she'd closed the distance between them. Deep in his own musings, senses muddled still from the healing bite, she had managed to surprise him. They stared at one another for a long, silent moment, her dark eyes intense and filled with worry. Swallowing thickly, Damon had to resist the impulse to drop to his knees and beg for forgiveness yet again. This was entirely his fault.

"Elena…" he started, voice low, hesitant. He struggled to find words he could say to comfort her, console her, but drew up a blank. When it became clear he wasn't going to say anything further, she smiled, but it didn't reach her eyes. Taking a shaky breath, she crossed her arms self consciously over her chest, and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "Listen," she began her voice barely above a whisper. "I've been thinking about what Katherine told us."

"Elena, we'll get him back," Damon interrupted fiercely, wanting very much so to believe the words he spoke, despite his inner self doubt. He remembered the monster Stefan had been. It had taken years and years of near impossible self discipline and eventually, self-loathing for him to become the person that Elena had fallen for. He doubted that if Stefan willingly let go of who he had become, regardless of his intentions, he would not be able to find himself again. "We'll find Klaus," he continued, "and we'll somehow find a way to end all of this. There were ways around the impossible before, and there will be again."

Elena watched him as he spoke, and although she listened without interruption, he could tell she didn't believe a word. Finally, unable to stop himself, he lifted his hands and cupped her face between his cold fingers. Her forehead pressed against his, he closed his eyes and willed her to believe something he himself had no faith in. She did not shove him away, like he expected her to. Instead, he caught the soft shake of her shoulders, heard the small intake of breath, before her fingers curled around his. Holding them to her face, she turned her cheek against his palm and started to cry.

"Katherine was right," she began, and Damon leaned back, his brow knitting together in confusion. She tilted her head up, eyes moist with tears, before they spilled over her lids. "I don't know when it happened," she continued, looking away. "But somehow it did, and I never realized it until…" Her cheeks flushed, and she swallowed, as if unable to continue.

"What are you talking about?" Damon questioned, with growing concern.

"If you had died tonight," Elena began hoarsely, "I don't know what I would have done. Lying there with you, holding you," she continued with a mild sniff, "when I kissed you I-"

"It's okay," Damon cut in, dryly, a humorless smile climbing on to his lips. It hurt to say the words; think they might and probably were true. "You thought I was dying."

"It's _not_ okay, Damon," she whispered fiercely, finally lifting her eyes. They locked on to one another's and this time Damon frowned in dawning realization.

"Damon, I _love_ you."


	2. Chapter 1

Elena stared listlessly out the window as her Biology teacher wrote down information on the blackboard, explaining all the while with an enthusiasm she could never quite muster for the subject. Her dark eyes peered out onto Mystic Fall's High School lawn, where students on their free periods mulled about, walking and talking. Or simply sitting and doing nothing at all save for enjoying the nice weather. Her grip tightened on the pencil she had been holding loosely between her fingers, and turning to focus her attention back towards the front of the class, grimaced as thoughts of Stefan began to swarm her mind. He had shared this class with her, sitting approximately two rows to the right, and one seat up. They would often steal glances at one another during lectures, and share secret smiles that had made the class a little less boring. Now it was nearly unbearable.

It had been two and a half months since Stefan's disappearance. Two and a half months for Elena to come to terms with the fact that she may never see him again. Bonnie had tried to track him down with a handful of spells. She had even gone to ask Emily for help, but the Witches no longer seemed interested in aiding in their affairs. The emptiness inside her was a hollow ache she found difficult to explain to the others. They sympathized, empathized with the loss of a loved one, but none of them really understood. Except for Damon. Elena chewed her lip, sinking lower into her seat as he too, invaded her thoughts. He had been nothing but courteous to her since Stefan left with Klaus. Excusing a few mildly sarcastic remarks, and a witty quip or two, which was not unlike him at all, he had been respectful and otherwise very tolerable.

Since her confession, she had noticed that he treaded carefully around her. Damon thought long before speaking to her, as if choosing his words carefully, and while he had been there for her emotionally, physically he was sure to keep his distance. While Elena had been grateful at first, with the passing days she found herself almost yearning for him.  
>She was ashamed to admit it, but while he kept his distance and she shut herself off from all of her friends, she had had a lot of time to think. Katherine's words plagued her thoughts often, invaded her dreams and she woke many nights in a cold, panicked sweat. <em>It's okay to love both of them, Elena, I did.<em> She refused to be like Katherine. Refused to get caught up in another Salvatore love triangle. She might be Katherine's doppelganger, but that was where the similarities ended. At least, that's what she tried to tell herself.

"Elena?"

Jerking her head upwards, Elena heard a murmur ripple through the class. Some people even snickered as her pencil rolled from her desk and to the floor. Leaning over to pluck it from the linoleum, Elena felt her face flush a deep red as all attention was drawn to her. Her Biology teacher stood with a pointer in hand, looking almost expectantly at her. Tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, Elena smiled sheepishly before asking, "Uhm, what was the question again?"

The bell rang, saving her from further embarrassment. As if on cue, all the students became disinterested. People stood, closing binders, notebooks, and shouldered backpacks. Elena sat, frozen in her seat until everyone but Bonnie was left in the room. Hugging her own things close to her chest, Bonnie maneuvered her way through the desks that separated them and sat down in the seat to Elena's right. Elena stuffed her trembling hands between her thighs and simply sat in silence a long moment. Thankfully Bonnie said not a word, and waited until she was ready to gather her own things before accompanying her out of the classroom. The halls were busy, filled with people chattering, yelling, throwing things. It was all so mundane. Elena wondered how everyone could continue on with their lives so normally, when she herself was falling apart from the inside out. Jenna was gone, Jeremy had nearly died. Klaus was still alive, and Stefan was somewhere with him. She felt the familiar helplessness and anxiety tighten her nerves, and her steady walk slowed to a stop.

"Elena, are you okay?" Bonnie questioned, turning to look over her shoulder. Her green eyes narrowed, brows drawing together with blatant concern as someone shouldered past Elena. A surprised noise slipped past her lips, and as her binder and notebook flew from her arms, she dropped to the ground as well. Fingers grappling for her pencil and loose notes that were scattered along the hall, she struggled to keep the trembling from being too noticeable. It was only noon, and she had four more classes of to go before she would be able to lock herself in her room and hide away from everyone. Bonnie knelt down to help her gather her things, and Elena settled back on her heels. The madness in the halls had ceased, and the only sound left between them was the ringing in her ears.

"I don't know how much longer I can take this, Bonnie," Elena whispered, clasping a hand over her mouth. Her lower lip trembled, and despite her best efforts, she could feel the tears pooling near the corners of her lids. Shaking her head, she looked up at her friend, who chewed her lip in apprehension. "I can't just stay here and pretend like nothing is wrong. I have to get out of here."

"What are you talking about?" Bonnie asked, with a painfully fake smile. She helped Elena get to her feet, and once they were standing, squeezed her shoulders reassuringly. "It's hard, but we just need _time_. Give me some more time to think of something, okay?" Bonnie continued, leading her down the hall.

"What if he doesn't come back?" Elena asked, unable to keep the question inside of herself any longer. She knew well enough, and expected the worst for she had seen the doubt in Damon's own crystalline eyes, heard the lack of conviction in what he said when he tried to comfort her. They were only things said meant to console or instill false hope. It was what she wanted to hear, and Damon had done his best to give her what she wanted. Except now she craved for someone to be real with her. She wanted someone to tell her exactly what was happening. Stefan had left with Klaus to save Damon, leaving Damon and Elena and the rest of them behind. He wouldn't be coming back, and if he did, he wouldn't be the same person he had been. The protective, kind and caring Stefan would be replaced by a monster.

Heart fluttering violently in her chest, Elena felt her step falter, before grabbing on to Bonnie's sleeve. Spots began to dance behind her eyes, and Elena gasped. Bonnie's worried voice was muddled as her vision grew dark, and the only thing she could clearly focus on was a pair of ice blue eyes, watching her almost mockingly as she dropped to the floor.

Damon paced the entryway to the Salvatore home anxiously. He had received the call from Bonnie twenty minutes earlier, and had only stayed inside upon her insistence. She didn't want to cause a scene leaving the school, and Caroline had offered to drive to his house. According to Bonnie, Elena had been more distant than usual that day, quite openly spacing out in Biology, and then fainting in the middle of the hall. She didn't know what to do with her, and although the words had seemed reluctant when she spoke them, Bonnie seemed well aware that something was going on between him and Elena. "She needs you, Damon," she had said quietly. "She might act like she doesn't need anyone, but she needs you more than she's letting on."

Opening the door, he was greeted by the site of Caroline pulling into the driveway. Bonnie helped a groggy looking Elena out of the back of the vehicle, and Caroline stepped out of the car to help bring her to the front door. Damon held out his arms, and Elena fell into them. She was not completely unconscious for she held up some of her weight, but it eased Damon's worry only a slight margin. Caroline stepped back as if to keep her distance, and smoothing out her shirt, glanced nervously to Bonnie. Bonnie looked just as uncomfortable with leaving her with him, and for a moment, a trace of anger swam through his veins.

"You brought her here," he snapped irritably, his arms tightening around her waist as she began to slip. Stooping low, he swung her up into his arms and turned, carrying her towards the couches that were positioned near the fireplace in the den. Bonnie followed suite with Caroline at her heels. Damon laid Elena gently down on the couch, tucking her head against one of the plush throw pillows nestled in to the cushions. Glancing upwards, he withdrew his hand quickly, before standing and crossing over to the cabinet where he and Stefan kept most of their alcohol. Pouring himself a bourbon on the rocks, he took a generous sip before raising a speculative eyebrow to the two who lingered awkwardly near the hall. "I'm not going to eat her," he commented, unable to hide the sarcasm lacing its way through his words. The booze calmed his nerves, and so he downed the rest of his drink before making another. "Christ, I thought we've gotten past this already."

"We bring her here, and you start drinking?" Caroline questioned hesitantly. "How is that going to help the situation?"

Damon scoffed, and raising his glass to the two, drank another generous mouthful.

He set the glass down on the table shortly after, eyes falling to Elena. He lifted them quickly back to the other two, and his smile grew wider, despite the fact that he felt nothing. "You know me better than that, I'd like to think," he said in a mock tone of voice, "I'm always drinking. Or haven't you noticed?"

"More so since all of this happened," Bonnie quipped, and Damon's smile faltered ever so slightly. Clasping his hands together, he made a motion towards the door. "I'm a big boy. I'll be fine. I'll make sure Elena is too." Bonnie and Caroline skittered back as he approached. "I'll call you when she's completely coherent," Damon continued, pulling open the door. A thick, warm ray of sunlight poured on to the blood red carpets. Birds chirped off in the distance, giving the day a false sense of cheerfulness that he despised. Fingers tightening along the doorknob, he added, "Don't you two have classes to be getting to? Wouldn't want to be late. Social lives, and all that."

Caroline checked her cell phone as if on cue, and grimaced, before glancing to Bonnie. A look of understanding passed between them, and they turned, heading back towards her car. Bonnie threw a last glance over her shoulder, her eyes wide, expression torn. "I don't know what's going on between you two," she began, opening the passenger side door, "but it's obviously bothering her, along with a long list of other things that keep her up at night. Do Elena a favor and take yourself off of it." The door slammed, and Caroline revved the engine. He watched with a stoic expression as they pulled out of the driveway. Once they were gone, he lingered by the open doorway a moment, fingers curling around the cold iron of the door knob. He could feel his insides tighten as Bonnie's words echoed through his mind. Damon wanted desperately to take away her worries and her fears, to make it hurt a little less. If he comforted her the way _he_ wanted to, it would only make matters worse for himself, and Elena. As far as her friends were concerned, his love was still unrequited. And while that may not be the case, if he pursued the feelings she had just come to realize herself, he would break her. And, like all things that concerned Elena, he found he could not be selfish. An hour, even a moment of his own self gratification would never be worth the self torture she would inflict on herself if he chose to take advantage of her vulnerable state.

At this point, all Damon could hope for was that Stefan would miraculously find a way to elude Klaus and return to Mystic Falls, and Elena. Things would go back to normal then. Elena would chalk up her confession and her feelings to a misguided assumption based on the fact that she thought Damon would be lost forever. In reality, not an unreasonable thing for Humans. He would slip back into the shadows, figuratively and literally, watching the two of them live out their lives and protecting Elena, when he could. As with Katherine, it would seem Fate had it in for the girl. It hurt to see her with Stefan, even if he'd accepted the fact that in the end, he was the better choice for her. But he would never even consider the notion of leaving. Damon smiled humorlessly to himself as he turned and closed the door. As the sunlight disappeared, he stared into the den where Elena lay. No, he could never leave. He was too masochistic for that.


	3. Chapter 2

Elena stayed with Damon for the entirety of the afternoon, and she did not become completely conscious until well after sunset. She was sitting in the living room, examining her hands, as Damon finished arguing with Bonnie over the phone. His irritation mounting with each passing second Bonnie accused him of 'withholding' the fact that Elena was awake and fine.

"Yeah, she's been awake for hours," Damon remarked dryly, finally letting his temper get the best of him. "I've been holding her hostage and keeping her from getting near a phone _just_ to spite you."

"Not funny, Damon," Bonnie growled on the other end of the phone. He could sense she was no longer amused by his attitude. He softened his tone, although the irritation in his voice did not entirely dissipate.

"Elena is fine, I'm just making her something to eat and then I'll drop her off at the house with Jeremy." A quick glance to the clock on the wall told him it was half past nine. "I think Alaric mentioned something to me earlier in the day about stopping by too." A pause, before he added sarcastically, "Although that might have been the alcohol. I tend to hallucinate when I-"

"_Damon_!"

"Alright, alright. I'll get her to call you when she gets in."

The line went dead, and Damon stared at it a long moment before snapping his phone shut and sliding it into the back pocket of his jeans. Meandering back into the den, he exhaled nervously before coming to lower himself onto the couch beside Elena. She didn't move when he sat down, nor shy away when he leaned over and draped an arm around her slender shoulders. He savored the moment, the way she felt cradled against his side, but did not allow himself the delusion that this could become a normal thing. He reminded himself of his earlier thoughts, and to remove temptation, he gave her arm a small squeeze before drawings both hands back into his lap.

"Do you want to talk about it?" he asked, quietly, staring into the dying flames of a fire he'd lit hours earlier. Elena joined him, and her dark eyes reflected the flames bouncing back and forth. For a moment he could have sworn it was really in her eyes, and that the fire licking greedily at the coals was something almost akin to inner turmoil. He wasn't far off. They sat there for long moments, and although the silence wasn't entirely comfortable, Damon found that it wasn't exactly uncomfortable, either. He felt at ease around her. Like her presence soothed the monster inside of him, and his anxiousness simultaneously. He would never admit to anyone save for Elena, but being around her made him truly feel as if he could be a better person. Someone she'd want in her life.

"I don't know what happened," Elena began quietly, with a shake of her head. "I mean, everything was fine, and then I guess I just…blacked out."

"Maybe you should take a break from school," Damon suggested with a casual shrug. "With everything that's going on, it's going to take time to…" he paused awkwardly as she turned to glance at him, eyebrows raised. "adjust," he continued mildly, "to what's happened. Homework, deadlines…" A pause. "_People_ in general. Definitely a bad idea." He concluded with a nod. He was rewarded by a small smile, and she settled back into the couch beside him. After another moment, she sank down and hesitantly placed her head on his shoulder. Damon became very still, afraid that if he moved even a fraction of an inch, she would move away. They sat like that in yet another silence, but there was no awkwardness to this one. The flames crackled and hissed, and as they did, she murmured, "Have you ever thought about going to look for him?"

This question caught Damon off-guard. Clearing his throat, he ran a hand through his unkempt dark hair and focused his gaze onto the crown of her head. He could smell her shampoo, and it made him oddly nostalgic. "If there was a way to find him," he responded carefully, "I might have." Elena lifted her head, brows drawn together in what seemed like irritation. She pulled away from him, her eyes almost accusing. "Might have?" she asked obvious confusion in her face. Damon nodded.

"Let's face it, Elena," he began, "He made a deal with Klaus, and Stefan is too proud to skip out on his end of a bargain." He grimaced, before continuing, cutting Elena off as she parted her own lips to speak. "Besides, as it stands Bonnie _can't_ track their exact location, and if I go looking for him, I could be gone for a long time. I'd need help getting rid of Klaus to get Stefan back here, and that would leave you alone in Mystic Falls, unprotected."

As Damon spoke, Elena's expression softened. She lowered her eyes, and he tried to ignore the desirable flush that crept up along her cheekbones. "Oh," she mumbled, and promptly settled back against him. "I guess that makes sense," she continued. "Or I could come with you," she added as an afterthought. Sitting up again, she turned to look him dead in the eyes. She seemed determined now, and he grimaced inwardly for she was nearly impossible to deal with when she made up her mind.

"You can't come with me, because I'm not _going_ anywhere, Elena," Damon sighed, getting to his feet. He walked towards the cabinet with his bourbon, but thought better of it. Instead, he placed his hands along the stone frame of the fireplace, and let his head hang between them. The fire below warmed his usually cold body, and he stood upright, to face her. "He made a sacrifice to save me," he continued quietly, although the emotion in his voice was not lost on Elena. "However stupid a decision it may have been, if I get myself _and_ you _killed_ in the process, it defeats the purpose of everything, and his sacrifice would have gone to waste. It's an ugly truth, but for now, it's one we're going to have to live with."

"What happened to finding ways around the impossible?" she demanded, getting to her feet. "What happened to '_We'll find Klaus. We'll end all of this_'? Were you just lying to me the entire time?"

"Things change when time passes, Elena," Damon began fiercely, turning with such speed she barely had time to register his movement until her face was held firmly between his hands. His cool fingers pressed into her burning cheeks and along her temples. She swallowed thickly, as he continued. "We know what Klaus wanted Stefan for, and if he's putting him to use in the way he intended, _Stefan_ will have changed. He won't be the man who left, he won't be the man who sacrificed himself to save his brother. There's a good chance he may not even recognize _you_. While I'd give anything to have him back here, it isn't worth it to me and it wouldn't be worth it to _him_ to endanger you anymore than you already have been." A long pause. "Why can't you _see _that?" 

Elena's angry expression crumbled then, and to Damon's horror, she began to sob. Lifting her hands, she clung to the sleeves of his shirt, and let her tears fall freely down her face. He pulled her to him then, and she pressed her face into his chest. Burrowing his face in the crown of her hair, he inhaled deeply the scent of her, and her distress. His arms encircled her protectively, and she returned his embrace just as desperately.

"I don't know what to do anymore," Elena breathed into his shirt, "I can't sleep, I can't eat. I don't want to be around anyone, but I hate being alone."

"You don't have to be alone, Elena," Damon murmured in her ear. "I'm right here if you ever need anything. You know that."

"I just feel so horrible," she gasped, and he led her to the couch. She collapsed against him, and he held her to him the best he could. She trembled and struggled for air while simultaneously trying to explain. "Jenna is d-dead," she stammered, "S-Stefan is gone, and t-the longer he's gone the harder it is to stop thinking about you." This caught him off guard, and he pulled back. Her eyes were red, lids puffy, and her face streaked with tears. He locked gazes with her, and an entirely new round of sobs claimed dominance over her, racking her small body. She ducked her head against his neck to hide from him, and her crying continued.

"I'm just like Katherine," she exclaimed hysterically.

Damon frowned at her words, before she repeated them. Sitting up abruptly, he grabbed her firmly by the shoulders and pulled her to a seated position. Giving her the most gentle shake he could muster despite the growing anxiety inside himself, he tried to catch her gaze. "Hey," he growled with another shake. "Elena, _listen to me_. Is that what you're worried about?" he asked incredulously. "That you're like Katherine? Idiot, you're _nothing_ like her."

"You and Stefan," Elena fumbled to explain with trembling hands. She dropped her gaze to her lap; refusing to meet his. He gave her no choice in the matter. Grabbing her chin firmly between his thumb and forefinger, he lifted her head effortlessly. "Look at me," he pleaded, and after a moment, her eyelids fluttered before she lifted her gaze to align with his. "Katherine was a cold, manipulative _bitch_," he stated, an unmistakable venom lacing its way through each word. "She knew what she was doing and played the both of us for the idiots we were. This is _entirely_ different, Elena," he added quickly. "You're nothing but kind and caring. You're so selfless it never ceases to drive me absolutely insane. You're nothing like her, and you never will be. What you feel for me doesn't make you a monster."

"Why do I feel like one?" she questioned after a moment. "Why do I feel better when I look at you?" she continued. "My hear hurts less when I think about you. Sometimes, I can even forget that Stefan isn't coming back. I'm horrible."

"You can't help who you love," Damon answered softly, searching her gaze. His grip on her chin grew slack, and he brushed an errant strand of hair from her face.

Elena stared at him for another moment, an heir of trepidation seeming to wash over her. Biting her lip, Damon could hear her heart start to jackhammer in her chest. Just as he was about to question her well-being, she leaned forward and pressed her lips to his. It was an unexpected but not unwelcome advance. Damon struggled to gather his wits, instinctively responding to her kiss. She molded against him, her hands slipping up his forearms. She deepened the kiss, and her closeness made him suddenly hungry for more. He knew in his right mind that this was entirely wrong; while she'd advanced on him, it wasn't uncommon for someone to pursue closeness when they had been shut off to others. He desperately tried to rationalize the entire situation, even as he pressed her down onto the couch. Her breathing was heavy as their lips parted, and she stared up at him as he supported himself above her with one arm. His free hand brushed the side of her cheek with the back of his fingers, and he searched her face.

"You don't want this, Elena," he breathed unsteadily, despite the monster inside him growling for a release. He was hungry in more ways than one; she'd awoken the demon inside him he'd been ignoring for far too long, and he'd forgotten how difficult it had been to control. He rarely ever tried to back in the day. "You're hurt, and you're lonely, and I want to be there for you," he continued, his voice low, pained, barely above a whisper, "But I don't want to make things worse."

"How can you make it worse?" she questioned incredulously. "Everything is horrible," she continued with a humorless laugh, pulling herself up onto an elbow. Their faces were but mere inches apart, and Damon closed his eyes, drawn in by the steady, strong beat of her heart. "I'm losing the people I love, one by one. I can't lose you too, Damon," she added, her voice faltering. Tears surfaced in her eyes, and to Damon's dismay he found himself unable to tell her no. His own mind was racing, trying to justify what was taking place. The more realistic side of him argued with the Damon who screamed at him to take what he wanted. He'd waited this long, what harm could come of it? She was willing. To hell with the consequences.

"Please," she begged. The plea was so broken, raw, and the lost look in her eyes was enough for him. He consented by pressing his lips to hers again, without a word. She wrapped her arms around his neck, and laced her fingers through his hair. Had Damon been focused on it, it would have surprised him how easy it was to forget the guilt of what he was doing. What he was allowing to happen. But her warm body pressed so close to his, her thigh snaking its way up to his hip was enough to cause him to forget. Or to just not to give a shit anymore. She was responsive to his touch, and he hooked his hand behind her knee, drawing her leg up further. She rocked her hips against his, and he groaned into her mouth, before pressing her back into the couch with his own.

"Damon," she purred in his ear, and he lost his control entirely. Pulling her up from the couch, he cradled her effortlessly in his arms. She let out a soft noise as he picked her up, and made quick work of carrying her to his bedroom. He hesitated as he passed Stefan's, but continued with purpose towards his door. Kicking the door open, he eyed his large bed with the plentiful quilts and pillows. Tossing her onto the mattress, he ran his gaze over her, searching, almost as if asking her to tell him "No Damon, I changed my mind." But he didn't, and so he fell on top of her once more.

Their kisses grew more frantic, and Damon pulled his shirt over his head. Elena was feverish as she helped him remove the clothing, and her shirt soon found its way onto the floor as well. He couldn't contain the groan that slid past his lips as his bare skin settled on hers, and he growled her name in her ear as she scrabbled for the buttons of her jeans. He helped her slide them off, and as his hands glided back up to her thighs; he caught her gaze, before hooking his thumb around her panties. They stilled a moment, watching one another, and for the briefest of seconds he could have sworn he saw her hesitate before nodding. Too far gone with need already, it was enough for him. He gave a vicious yank, and the fabric tore away, leaving her entirely exposed and splayed out on his bed. "God you're beautiful," he murmured, drinking in the sight. "Don't talk," Elena pleaded, pulling him up for another kiss. And so he didn't.

Sunlight filtered in through the open windows, and Elena awoke to the distant sounds of birds chirping. At first, she was aware of pleasant warmth. She felt as if she was melting into an unexplainable softness, and when she opened her eyes, she realized where she was. And who had his arm draped around her side, cradling her against his chest. Slowly, she turned onto her back, and pulled herself into a more seated position. Her face flushed as she noticed the clothes on the floor, and the memory of the night before came flooding back. Clearing her throat softly, she scrambled for the blankets in an effort to cover herself. Damon made a small noise beside her, and she swallowed as her pulse began to race. His piercing blue eyes caught the light of the sun, and for a moment she swore she could see into his soul. His expression was void for a moment as he watched her, no doubt to gauge her reaction. Elena smiled, and surprised herself when she discovered it was genuine.

"What time is it?" He grumbled, his voice deep and thick with sleep.

Elena glanced around, squinting in the natural light for a clock. A digital alarm rested on the nightstand table on Damon's left, and it read 10:42 AM. Swearing, Elena ran her fingers through her hair before mumbling, "I'm late for class."

Damon sat up as she slid her legs to the side, and rested her feet on the floor. He watched silently as she quickly knelt down to scoop up her clothes. She stood, awkwardly trying to cover herself for a moment, naked in his presence. His eyes swept over her once, and if he sensed her awkwardness he said nothing. Instead, he motioned towards the bathroom off to the left of his room. "There's a shower in there," he directed, "I'll drive you to school."

"But my clothes," Elena began, faltering when Damon sat up in bed. The sheets fell away from his muscled chest, and her heart stuttered in her chest as he ran a hand through his unkempt hair. "We can go by your place so you can get changed," he answered, as if that should settle the question. Elena ducked her head and nodded as he started to climb out of bed, not wanting to see anymore. She chewed her lip as she locked herself in the bathroom. Pressing her back against the door, her fingers slid from shaky fingers to the floor, where she soon joined them. Covering her face in her hands, she struggled to regulate her breathing. It wasn't that she hadn't wanted to see more. She hadn't wanted to see more and _like it_. Glancing upwards, she took in her surroundings. The bathroom was much like the one Stefan had had in his room, as well. A similar layout, but Damon's with a blood red theme as opposed to the lapis lazuli blue that matched Stefan's ring.

She showered quickly, scrubbing herself raw as if washing away evidence of the night before could erase her memory. She couldn't get rid of the flush that spread along her face though, and as she yanked on the clothes she'd worn the day before, stared at herself in the mirror. Her reflection stared back at her almost angrily, and for a moment she swore she could have seen a smirk. _Katherine_? She wondered, gripping the edges of the sink. A loud knock on the door and Damon's concerned voice drew her from her thoughts. Tearing her eyes away from her reflection, she opened the bathroom door and forced a large smile onto her face. "Sorry," she exclaimed, before squeezing past him and into the hallway. He glanced over his shoulder, and she could feel his eyes following her as she made her way to the front room.

True to his word, Damon drove her to her house, where she made quick work of changing. Alone in her room, she stripped off her clothes. A fresh change of underwear and she was already feeling better. The weather was cool, and the sky was cloudy unlike the day before. Not wanting to draw attention to herself, and fearing rain, Elena yanked on a pair of old jeans and a sweater that was particularly loose on her frame and bland in design. Tying her wet hair up in a bun, she grabbed her purse and headed back downstairs. Damon raised his eyebrows as she slid into the passenger seat, and while buckling herself in, she mumbled, "What?" Damon shook his head as he backed out of the driveway. "You look particularly conservative today, that's all." His tone held traces of amusement, as he steered the car towards the path that would take them to her high school.

By the time they reached the school, the amount of students milling about on the lawn and picnic tables told Elena she had already missed third period. Taking a deep breath as Damon's car purred into the parking lot, she sank a little in her seat as people cast curious glances towards them. Throwing the car into park, Damon turned to look at her, his icy eyes full of genuine concern. For her, she realized in amazement for perhaps the millionth time. "Are you sure you want to do this?" he asked, "I can take you home. You don't need to go Elena."

"No, I'm fine. Really," she added in false reassurance. She squeezed his hand, and his eyes dropped to their touching fingers before she grappled for the car door handle. As the door swung open, she slid out of the vehicle, and leaning down, took a steadying breath. "I'll call you after classes are done, okay?"

Damon's jaw tightened, but he simply nodded, before glancing around. "I'll be waiting," he answered, before she slammed the door. He pulled out of the lot just as swiftly as he'd driven in, and she watched as his car disappeared around the corner. She stood there alone, hugging her things to her chest, before a familiar voice startled her.

Turning to face her friend, Elena struggled to swallow the guilt at Bonnie's incredulous expression.

"I take it since you didn't call," she began, "you never made it home last night."


	4. Chapter 3

Hours passed and Damon lay on his unmade bed, surrounded by the scent of Elena. He stared listlessly up at the ceiling, while idly toying with a half-empty glass of bourbon. It wasn't as if he was really waiting for her phone call, in fact, he doubted she would even call him that day. What had happened the night before was an accident; he could see it in her eyes when she'd woken up that morning. While his insides churned at the thought of rejection, he sighed heavily before pulling himself up into a seated position. What had he done? He'd known it was wrong from the very beginning, and even though she had asked for it, he knew it was just a distraction for the both of them. He had failed Elena, and he had failed Stefan. Would Stefan have risked himself to save Damon if he'd known that he would take his girlfriend to bed not even three months after he'd vanished?

Splaying his fingers out along the silken sheets, he closed his eyes and ran his hand over the soft, smooth fabric. He could practically feel her there, pressed against him still. He'd had plenty of women in his time but he found that he had never been left with such an impression. He knew it was because he hadn't loved any of the other women.

With Elena, he had trembled, focused more on her and showing her the love he'd felt for her. She'd responded in ways that had driven him over the edge with lust, and as he lay alone, he felt himself consumed with envy for Stefan. Did he realize the treasure he'd been given? Downing the rest of his drink, he swung his legs over the edge of the bed. Placing the glass unsteadily on the nightstand, he raked his hands through his hair. There was no way to undo what had been done, and if he were being entirely honest with himself, he didn't want to.

As Elena had feared, the rain started to fall around 3 o'clock. She stood inside the school's entryway, watching in mild distaste as the rain fell from angry looking clouds to drench the pavement that stretched out, and wound it's way to the student parking lot. She had managed to survive three of her afternoon classes, but found she couldn't muster up the energy or the courage to go to her final class. She shared it with Bonnie, and while she hadn't exactly _said_ anything to give away the details of what happened the night before, Bonnie wasn't stupid. If she hadn't come to her own assumption, she was along the right track. Her green eyes had been questioning, and it had only deepened Elena's guilt. She could feel her stomach twist into violent knots, as she recalled what she'd practically _begged_ Damon for. He had tried, to his credit, to refuse her. It hadn't lasted long, and as usual where it concerned the Salvatore brothers, Elena got what she wanted.

Was it in her best interests? No, definitely not. Especially since now the only thing running through her mind was Damon. Damon's eyes, his smirk, the way he would stare someone down while making a sarcastic, inappropriate remark. The way he looked without his shirt on, the way he felt inside of her. His expression the night before, when they had lain in a tangled mess of limbs; sweaty and struggling to reach that one point of bliss they both knew would make them momentarily forget _everything_. And it had. Elena hadn't felt guilty as they'd fallen back onto the mattress in a sweaty mess. She hadn't protested when he'd drawn an arm around her; no, she'd welcome it. Curled into his side, and let him play with her hair. Contrary to his violent personality, Damon was a gentle lover and had done things to her even _Stefan_ hadn't done. Made her feel things she didn't even know were possible. And instead of smugness, he had brushed her hair from her face and stared at her, almost as if in awe when they were finished. He hadn't said anything, and she was grateful for it, and the last thing she remembered before drifting off, was the intensity of his gaze.

"Do you want a ride home?"

Jumping, Elena turned to give Caroline a meek smile. Caroline looked at her curiously, and Elena wondered for the briefest of moments if Bonnie had spoken with her. Her blonde hair was pulled up into a neat bun, several strands of hair curling around her shapely face. She wished for a moment that she had dressed better, for in comparison to the other girl, who was decked out in fitted jeans, a flattering cashmere top and matching boots, she felt particularly unlike herself. Then again, given the circumstances, Elena reasoned she _wasn't_ herself. What happened the night before only proved that.

"Sure," Elena answered after a moment's hesitation. Caroline offered her own cautious smile, before glancing out towards the windows. She grimaced as the rain grew heavier, and more angry clouds rolled in. "We better hurry before it starts hailing or something," she offered lightly, and Elena nodded before they stepped out from the protection of the school. They ran to Caroline's car, and as they slipped in, she checked her rear-view mirror, fingers moving fastidiously over her hair. "I had it perfect," she pouted, and Elena couldn't help but smile. They had all become so good at pretending nothing was wrong.

"So how are you feeling?" Caroline asked quietly, as she started the car. Elena's hand stilled as she buckled herself in, and she looked to Carolina, who's eyes were solely focused on the school in front of them. "Fine," Elena answered, settling back into her seat. "I don't know what happened yesterday, honestly. I guess I've just been distracted."

"Have you been eating properly? You've been so out of it lately. You look like you've lost some weight."

"Oh," Elena commented, looking down at herself. Come to think of it, she couldn't exactly recall the last time she'd had a proper meal. "No, I've been eating," she lied, forcing a smile onto her face. "Just stressed out, you know?" A shaky sigh and she hugged her elbows.

"I understand," Caroline responded, guiding the car out of the school parking lot. "You don't normally skip class," she added as an afterthought. "Did something happen?"

"What do you mean?" Elena asked quickly. Too quickly. She turned and stared out the window to hide the flush creeping up her neck.

"Well, I mean, Bonnie told me you never called her last night. You didn't answer my calls, either." She began to explain awkwardly, her fingers tightening on the steering wheel. "Bonnie told me Damon dropped you off at school this morning, too."

"Nothing happened," Elena interrupted, her hands curling into fists. She stuffed them between her thighs, and cleared her throat. "I just wasn't exactly up for being alone, so he said I could stay with him. He dropped me off at school today, so I wouldn't be later than I already was."

"I'm not saying anything happened, Elena," Caroline responded, eyes widening in surprise. "God no," she continued with a laugh. "I mean, I never thought for a second.. Damon can love you all he wants; everybody knows he doesn't stand a chance. Even with Stefan gone…" Caroline trailed off, before continuing. "well, it's kind of a test I guess, and it's hard. But we're here for you, and Bonnie _will_ figure out a way to find him." She gave her a reassuring smile, before leaning over to squeeze her leg. "And you're never alone, okay?" she added as her car pulled into the driveway of the Gilbert home. "You can always call me, or Bonnie. And Jeremy is here for you too. Please don't shut yourself off, Elena. You don't need to."

Elena listened to what Caroline said, the pressure of her guilt growing almost unbearable with each passing word. By the time she pulled up to her house, she scrambled to open the door, and stepping out into the pouring rain, she turned and gave Caroline a half-hearted smile. "Sure. Thanks for the ride." She didn't wait for a response, and instead, slammed the door closed and marched blindly towards the house. Her vision was blurry, but it wasn't because of the rain. She could feel the anxiety welling up inside of her, and she covered her mouth as she fumbled with the lock on the door. Hopefully Jeremy would still be at school, because she knew as soon as she stepped inside, the tears would be unstoppable.

The house was empty, and the echo of the door slamming against the wall as she fell inside reverberated through the open space. Not daring to see if Caroline had stayed to make sure she got inside alright, she pressed her back to the door. Covering her face, she dropped to the floor and let the tears flow freely. There was something liberating about crying alone. Nobody to watch and she did not try and contain herself. She truly _was_ a horrible person. Was it such a far-fetched idea to even consider that she and Damon might end up together? Although, Elena reasoned as she curled into a small ball, she had always been so quick to dismiss his feelings. In all honesty, she had never really taken him seriously. Assumed that she was something he wanted simply because his brother had her first. Stefan had Katherine as well, and she chalked up his claimed 'love' to simply being jealous that he'd wound up with both of the doppelgangers.

After the previous night however, she allowed herself to recall several occasions where he'd gone out of his way and put himself in danger to save her. He'd risked his life more than once for her, and her friends, and it had all been done ultimately to keep her safe. Damon had wanted to show her he'd changed, that his feelings were genuine. Stefan had said on more than one occasion that vampires felt emotions more strongly than humans did. She knew very well that love could change a person. And it had. Only, it took Stefan disappearing and Damon's near death for her to finally open her eyes and see it from someone else's perspective other than her own. The epiphany disturbed her as well, and her sobbing grew quiet until she sat on the floor in silence, nothing but a dripping mess.

She wasn't the only one suffering. Damon had lost his brother, and she knew he must be feeling guilty as well. Elena grimaced, and stared down at her trembling hands. Especially after she'd _seduced_ him. She'd used his feelings to her advantage, and while she started to drown in her own guilt, she had nobody to blame but herself. Despite Damon's words, his insistence that she wasn't anything like Katherine, she could feel something inside of her. Something cruel, slowly making its way to the surface. There were definitely more similarities between them than just looks. Elena's feelings may have been genuine for both of the brothers, but she realized, Katherine had claimed the same thing. She'd toyed with the both of them and ultimately pitted them against one another. They'd fought for over a century over Katherine, and she had enjoyed every second of it.

Elena didn't want that, however. With an angry exclamation, she pulled at her hair, tugging it free from the messy bun. She didn't know what she wanted. If Stefan were to return right this very second, would she simply abandon Damon after what they had shared? It hadn't been just lust and loneliness for her. She had felt the connection between them; something that wasn't there with Stefan. But Stefan had done so much for her; she loved him truly as well. But even as his name rang in her ears, the only thing she could focus on were a pair of crystalline eyes watching her as she fell asleep.

Scrambling to her feet, Elena climbed the stairs to her room. She looked around cautiously; making sure Jeremy wasn't at home, before stripping down and stepping into the shower. She stood under the scalding water until it ran cold, staring at the porcelain tiles that curled around the wall of the bathroom. Closing her eyes, she forced herself to pretend for a moment, that everything was okay. She was showering to get ready for the evening. Jenna would have dinner ready on the table, and be giving Jeremy a hard time about homework. Stefan would be picking her up in an hour. She smiled as she shut the water off, before stepping out into the misty bathroom. Her hair hung down her back, and as she wrapped a towel around her slender form, she eyed the shaving razor resting against the sink.

It was painful at first, and Elena gritted her teeth as the razor kissed the inside of her forearm. It pinched, and as the blood began to well to the surface, a beautiful numbness came over her. Sighing heavily, she sank to the floor in her towel, and brought the razor down again, creating another set of three jagged lines. They weren't particularly deep, and they didn't hurt. The blood gathered down her arm in one singular rivulet, leaving a mesmerizing trail of red along her skin. She stared at it for long moments, before pressing the blade closer to her wrist. She winced as she applied more pressure for a deeper cut, and dropped the razor to the ground as pain bloomed from the tips of her fingers up to her elbow.

The Grill was particularly empty for a Friday afternoon. Usually students would stop by to shoot a game of pool or have something to eat with friends to celebrate the end of the week. Since The Grill's re-opening after the fire however, they'd lost a lot of business. An adult or two lingered by the bar, ordering drinks for themselves before turning back to survey the goings on of the establishment. Damon's pale eyes drank in the surroundings as he purposefully made his way to the bar himself. Ordering a double of whiskey, he downed it like water before staring into the empty glass. He found that it was particularly difficult to remain back at the house. Whether it be the absence of Stefan, or the absence of Elena, especially when her scent was all that filled his nostrils, he wasn't particularly sure. The alcohol helped numb the restlessness inside of him however, so he ordered another shot.

"I'll have whatever he's having."

To his left, Alaric slid into the stool beside him. Damon turned back to his glass as a silence was shared between them. Unsure of what to say, Damon finished his whiskey and chanced a glance to the other man, who had done the same. His knuckles were white a he gripped his glass, and he was silent a moment before asking, "How're you holding up?"

Alaric shrugged, and he smiled but it didn't reach his eyes.

"The best I can," he answered after a moment, before lifting his eyebrows and turning to give him a speculative glance. "You?"

Damon thought carefully about his answer. His first impulse was to throw out some nasty, sarcastic remark, but then he shrugged and looked back to his glass. "I've definitely been better," he commented mildly. Alaric sensed the change in his attitude, and he nodded, before ordering another round for them. As they shared their drinks, Alaric mused aloud, "D'you think he'll ever come back? Stefan, I mean."

Damon scoffed, before averting his gaze. Lifting it to the ceiling, he stared at the wood paneling. Considering his answer, he replied, "If Klaus is putting him to use the way he wants, the question isn't 'will he come back'," he paused, downed his shot and leaned away from the bar. He leveled his gaze to meet with Alaric's, eyes intense, and tone deadly. "It's 'do we want him to'?"


	5. Chapter 4

Elena was reading when Jeremy got home from school. Or at least, the book lay in her lap. The television was on as well, but she watched nothing in particular. She didn't turn her head when she heard the door close, but simply shut her book and sank back deeper into the couch. Jeremy turned the light on as he entered the room, and jumped nearly a foot back as he spied her, nearly hidden, under a pile of blankets.

"I didn't know you were home," he exhaled, clutching his chest. "All the lights were off." He glanced around the room; drank in the sight of Elena, buried under a quilt and draped in loose clothes. He too was drenched, undoubtedly from the rain, and his eyes were full of worry as he came to sit on the chair adjacent the coffee table. He let his back pack slither to the floor with a soft _thud_, and lacing his fingers between one another, swallowed thickly before allowing a heavy silence to weigh on them both.

"Bonnie said you left school early today."

Elena waited for him to say more, but he didn't. She squeezed her arm, and closed her eyes as the dull ache that raced its way up along her wrist soothed her nerves. Clearing her throat, she managed to force a smile before lifting her dark eyes to lock with his. They watched one another almost cautiously, before she nodded.

"I just haven't been feeling very well today," she began dismissively, "Damon was right, I probably should have just stayed home."

"Damon? Oh, yeah, Bonnie told me about that too." Jeremy hesitated, before raking a hand through his tousled, wet hair. "What's up with that, anyway?"

Elena grew very still. For a moment, she wanted to tell Jeremy everything. What she'd done the night before with Damon, and not but an hour earlier in their bathroom. She wanted to confide in him, tell him how lost she was. Broken. Confused. Admit how angry she was with herself, with Damon and Stefan. Even Jenna. Instead, she just shrugged nonchalantly, before tilting her head. A fake smile slipped to her lips; it was meant to be re-assuring, casual. As if it didn't take every ounce of strength for her to do so.

"I wasn't up for being alone yesterday," she admitted, and it was nearly the truth. "he said I could stay there with him. He drove me to school today, that's all. I don't understand why everyone is making this out to be such an issue. I'm fine, Jeremy. Really."

Jeremy looked unconvinced, although he didn't say anything further. He simply nodded before getting to his feet. With a heavy sigh, he grabbed his backpack before turning towards the stairs. "I'll be in my room," he said mildly, as if sensing her need to be alone. "And Elena," he added hesitantly, "if you need to talk, I'm here okay?"

Elena smiled again, although it slipped from her lips as soon as his back was turned. Staring down at her hands, she wondered briefly if she was being selfish. There were other things, she reasoned, that she could be doing with herself as opposed to hiding away and wallowing in self pity. It wasn't as if her friends weren't suffering for the loss, either. Jenna was gone; the impact of her absence affected everyone, although she knew Alaric must have been suffering more so than most. Jeremy hadn't spoken much on the subject of her death, and it seemed to be on a strictly if-we-don't-discuss-it-it-never-happened basis between him and Elena. Stefan's absence affected everyone, and while she felt a deep, empty hollow within herself, she could only begin to imagine how Damon felt as well. She flushed as his name swam through her mind, accompanied by pale eyes and a shock of dark hair. Ducking her head as if someone could see the blush of her cheeks, she shut her eyes and squeezed her wrist again. A small pain bloomed from the tips of her fingers and spread throughout her palm, to her wrist. His steady gaze faded from her mind, and she exhaled in relief.

Unfolding herself from the couch, Elena rose with caution so as not to irritate the bandages she'd wrapped around her wrist. She folded the blanket she had been sitting under, and picked up the book she had been gazing at half-heartedly before Jeremy had walked in. It hadn't proved to be much of a distraction, to her disappointment. She turned to make her way upstairs, and found herself pausing on the landing after she had ascended. Her heart thudded painfully in her chest, and she swallowed thickly before turning slowly to face Jenna's closed bedroom door. Her pulsed stuttered, and she could feel the dizziness wash over her. A furtive glance to her right told her Jeremy had locked himself in his room, and hesitating only momentarily, she made her way towards the room with only a slight trepidation. Since Jenna's death, neither she nor Jeremy had had the nerve to enter. They had simply closed the door, and avoided it, as if pretending it wasn't there would make the problem, the empty space inside the house and their hearts, go away.

The door opened silently, and she stood in the doorway, motionless. Something akin to a mixture of grief and pain claimed dominance along her features, and her stomach twisted into painful knots as Jenna's scent washed over her. Her bed was unmade, untouched, prior to the last time she had used it. Several articles of clothing were thrown onto the bed, and Elena could picture Jenna raiding her closet for a suitable outfit to wear, maybe on her way to meet up with Alaric. Stepping further into the room, she glanced around as if seeing it for the first time. With a new point of view, she drank in everything. It was all so mundane and yet so damned precious to her now. The dresser, the photos pinned to the dresser's mirror. Her brush and make-up, the closet where her shoes and clothes were stored. She choked back an unexpected sob, and dabbing at her eyes with the sleeve of her sweater, she turned quickly to exit the room.

Jeremy stood in the doorway, watching her with an unreadable expression. She stopped in her advance out the room, and they simply locked gazes a moment, before he too lifted his eyes to the scenery beyond his sister. With a shaky breath, he stepped into the room and stuffed his hands deep into the confines of his pockets. There was another long moment of silence, before he let his eyes rest on Elena once more.

"I miss her, too."

Elena nodded, and unable to keep the tears at bay, she felt them slip from her lids and down her cheeks. Jeremy lifted his arms then, and she walked into his embrace. It was strange, now, to be comforted by him. She was so used to being strong, or at least putting on the strong façade. Now, standing in the circle of his arms, she wondered, _When did _Jeremy _become so strong?_ Clinging to his shirt, she let him soothe her by rubbing her back. He kissed the top of her head and she only held him to her more firmly, unwilling and almost unable to relinquish her grip.

"I feel lost," Elena finally admitted, her words muffled by Jeremy's shirt. She could feel him nod, although he opted for the non-verbal response, and with a tenuous, shaky breath she continued. "What do we do now? How do we _live_?" Pulling away, she tilted her head back, and struggling to keep her chin from trembling much more than it already was, she whispered, "I can't be responsible for you. I can't even be responsible for _myself_. Look what I've gotten everyone _in _to."

"This isn't your fault, Elena," Jeremy exclaimed fiercely, his hands coming up to grip her firmly by her shoulders. His nails bit into the fabric of her sweater, and her pulse quickened as his eyes flashed with something she couldn't quite decipher. "All of this was entirely out of your control. Out of _everyone's _control. We did the best that we could. What happened to Jenna…please don't blame yourself. Nobody else does."

"I can't help but think that if things had been done differently…if we'd watched her better, if we had _made sure_ that _everyone_ was safe, none of this would have happened."

Knees buckling, Jeremy caught her and helped her to sit down on the foot of Jenna's bed. The mattress gave way under her weight, and as her fingers slid from his, they curled into trembling fists and she stuffed them between her thighs. Fixing her gaze quite purposefully on to Jeremy's feet, she shook her head, vision blurry through her unshed tears. "I'm alive, but Stefan is gone, and so is Jenna. Because of me."

Her tone was mournful, and despite her best efforts to stop the swirl of negative thoughts from consuming her, it was already too late. Jeremy stood there awkwardly now, unsure of what to say. She wanted to tell him more than anything, that she would be fine. However, his company, just as it had been all she'd wanted mere seconds earlier, as such had grown undesirable. A sudden tiredness consumed her, and she got to her feet. Jeremy extended a hand, but she brushed it to the side. "I'm sorry," she began quietly, her crying ceased. Shaking fingers tucked an errant strand of hair behind her ear, and she lifted her gaze to offer her brother a meek smile. It was the best she could do.

The scent of blood was thick in the air. So much so that he grew feverish, filled with desire for it. He longed to sink his fangs into flesh, feel the heart beat slow simultaneously while the struggling stopped, the screaming ceased. Death would come then, and that was his favourite part.

Stefan wasn't particularly aware of his exact location; he knew he was in a relatively small town of sorts. Remote. Klaus was nowhere to be seen, although the evidence of his wishes were all around, in the corpses that littered the streets. His hands were stained with blood, as was his shirt and the front of his pants. He could taste the last kill on his lips, and his tongue slid over his fangs fastidiously licking the blood from them. Off in the distance, wailing could be heard. He'd made quick work of this place; with Klaus's aid, of course. He too seemed to enjoy the kill; enjoyed immensely, killing alongside Stefan. And yet, despite the utter euphoria and adrenaline and pure power that came only when feeding off the blood of the living, he felt as if he were missing something.

It bothered him, that he couldn't quite figure out what exactly, he was missing. He was never hungry; he would never have to suffer those long painful days without human blood. His thirst for it was nearly constantly satiated, but the more he killed, the more he longed _to _kill. The sense of regret, the sense of shame he had possessed when they'd first arrived, was long vanished. He looked _forward _to the kill now. He spared not a second thought to those who fell victim to his fangs. He found, sometimes, that he wished Damon were around. He would enjoy this, and he presumed that Damon would get some sort of sick satisfaction out of watching his brother perform the very same acts he had performed many a time. However, with Stefan now, and he knew and recognized this subconsciously, the way he killed possessed an almost unnecessary brutality. Severed limbs, broken necks. He had grown fond of ripping the heart from the chest while it was still beating. The blood tasted sweeter when taken straight from the source.

"Stefan."

A deep voice drew him from his thoughts, and turning, his eyes focused on Klaus. Klaus, who stood in the middle of the street, with a corpse in each hand. It was twilight now, and the sun's orange hues blazed brilliantly as the sky turned an unholy red. The bodies he held crumpled to the asphalt, and he stepped over them. Like Stefan, he wore the blood as if it were something to be proud of. Evidence of their massacre. He smiled as Stefan let his own victim drop to the ground, not quite dead, but very near. He curled into a ball, shivering like mad, as Klaus advanced. Stopping not but half a foot from the fallen man, he glanced down with unsympathetic eyes, before raising his gaze back to Stefan's own eyes, which were black as midnight and frenzied from the feed.

"Kill him," he said in a soft, almost gentle voice.

Stefan complied.

Damon sat upright, his spine rigid, fingers tearing at the silken sheets of his bed. A thin sheen of sweat covered his skin, and the bedcovers stuck to him as he stared hard, into the darkness of his bedroom. Unable to shake the unease, he swung his feet over the side of the bed, and scrubbed his face roughly with his hands. Shoulders tense, he closed his eyes and recalled the very vivid image of Stefan in his mind, slaughtering more than his fair share of innocent people. Innocent? When had _Damon_ started caring about whether human's were innocent? Unsteadily, he climbed to his feet and made his way to the bathroom. Flicking on the light, he stared at his pale reflection in the mirror. His hair was a tousled, unkempt mess, and dark circles below his eyes made their pale, icy hues seem nearly white in contrast. _It's just a dream,_ he tried to tell himself, although he knew that it hadn't been. Was it Stefan's way of reaching out to him? He had been in his thoughts, perhaps it was subconscious. Fear seized him when he recalled the blackness of his eyes, the blood covering his lips, and face. His hands.

A mere matter of months had changed him, turned him into something that Stefan had come to resent. Everything he'd spent a near century working to achieve, gone, just like that. Stefan was gone; in his stead, a monster. A monster who wore his face. Dread followed the fear, and letting out a heavy sigh, he resisted the urge to sink to the bathroom floor. If things were to continue this way, Stefan would be lost forever; hell, Damon grimaced to himself, he didn't know if what had already been done was irreversible. One thing was clear to him, however, and that was he needed to keep Elena in the dark. He needed to keep her mind off of Stefan; slowly but surely take away any hope that he may ever come back. It pained him to think of how much it would hurt her to do so, but as he slid into a pair of jeans and threw on a long sleeved shirt, he once again recalled the image of the eyes of the monster. The monster that had taken his brother's place.

A quick glance towards his clock told him it was 3:42 AM. He didn't want to wake Elena, but unable to shake the fear-not for himself, but for _her_-he had to at least make sure she was okay. She hadn't called, like she said she would. He'd wanted to give her some space, especially after the events that had transpired, but he would not be settled until he knew she was truly alright.

All the lights were off, and her bedroom window was closed. He stared up at the window a moment, before making quick work of climbing onto the sill. It wasn't difficult to open, although he silently cursed Elena's thoughtlessness to not have locked it before she'd gone to sleep. Slipping into her room, he was careful while closing it, before turning apprehensively to rest his eyes on her bed. Relief flooded through him when he spied her sleeping form, curled up in a ball under the duvet. Avoiding the floorboards he knew would make noise, he sat down on the edge of the bed and let his eyes wander over her face. Only when she slept, did she seem at peace. Her eyes were closed; he couldn't see the inner turmoil brewing inside of her. Her lips weren't drawn down in a subconscious frown, or a grimace. Her forehead was smooth, skin flawless. Perfection.

For perhaps the millionth time, he warmed as he watched her. His feelings had only grown stronger for her, and he found it near impossible to get her off of his mind. He knew it was imperative to leave her alone when she needed it however, for this thing-whatever they had, was tenuous and unsure as it was. Worry consumed him suddenly, for he didn't know how to proceed. He had never had a problem getting women before, and he had never had to worry about making a mistake. Compulsion was a quick and easy fix for anything, although he couldn't do that to Elena. Even if she weren't wearing the vervaine, he wouldn't. Something about her made him want to be honest with her; human, even. If he did something to upset her, he would try to make things right by doing it the proper way. Manipulating her mind, tricking her into forgetting _anything_ seemed almost dirty.

Elena stirred than, and for a moment he thought she could hear his thoughts. _That's ridiculous,_ he chided himself, as her eyelashes fluttered and her eyes opened. Her expression was one of sleepy curiosity, before her eyebrows drew together in a frown.

"Damon?" she whispered, before pulling herself up onto her elbow. Casting a quick glance around the room, she brushed her hair off of her face. Damon frowned when he noticed a bandage wrapped tightly around her left forearm and wrist. "Is something wrong?" she questioned, before noticing his eyes. She tugged the sleeve of her night shirt down quickly, before stuffing her hand under the blanket.

"I just thought I'd check up on you," he said mildly, distracted by her suspicious behaviour. "What with everything going on. And you didn't call me, so I was…" A pause. "worried."

"Sorry," Elena mumbled, clearing her throat. She rubbed her eye with her right hand, before sinking back into the mattress. "I was just really tired," she continued blandly, and he could tell she was lying.

"Let me see your arm," Damon said quietly, his voice rising barely above a whisper. He noticed Elena tense in the dark, and she pulled the blankets higher, near her chin. "Damon," she began evasively, "I'm really tired. Thanks for checking up on me, but I should get some sleep. I have school in the morning."

It didn't take much effort to rip the covers back and take hold of her arm. By the time she realized he had moved, he'd already pulled her arm free from the duvet and was inspecting the bandages. She struggled, but once again, it didn't take much effort to quell her. He could smell dried blood, ever so faintly, and his stomach twisted into knots. "What did you do?" he questioned, piercing her with an icy stare. "Be honest with me, because I'm going to find out anyway, Elena." he added with a growl when she tried to yank her hand free.

Her eyes pooled over with tears then, and she looked away, pressing her face into the pillow. It grew apparent that she had no intention of answering him, and so gently but quickly he peeled off the bandage. What he saw next made the monster inside him growl hungrily, and his nerves light afire. Her fair, flawless skin was marred from the wrist to the middle of her forearm with deep, jagged cuts. Some of them had begun to scab, but some were still raw, and he could smell the blood, stronger now. Swallowing thickly, he tried to ignore the beast inside of him that suddenly begged for release, and instead focused on the despair he felt at what she had done to herself. A million things came to his mind, questions, accusations, but all he could utter was a quiet, incredulous, "_Why_?"

She was silent a long moment, before she turned to stare at him, her dark eyes hugely dilated. The moonlight caught the tears, and they seemed to glow as she whispered, shame obvious in her voice, "It hurt, Damon. I just wanted it to stop. Just for a little bit."

"No, Elena, _no_," he answered fiercely, unable to hide the plea in his voice. The struggle left her then and she slumped back against the bed as he held her wrist. "You never have to do this to yourself. If you need someone to talk to, I'm here for you. You _know_ that."

Elena laughed humourlessly, before giving him a mildly disgusted look.

"Do you know how sick I am of people telling me that?" she questioned sourly, before averting her gaze. "I don't _want _to talk," she added in a quiet mutter.

"If there's anything I can do to help," Damon answered, squeezing her wrist, "_tell_ me, but don't…don't do this, Elena. _Promise_ me you won't do it again," he added, his voice low. She looked then to his hand, which clasped her wrist in a firm but gentle manner, as if he were afraid to let go. She seemed to think about her answer, before she slowly pulled herself into a seated position. He could hear her heart beat stutter before rising, and the vein in her throat began to throb desirably.

"Only if you do something for me," she said evenly after another long moment. Damon hesitated, frowned, and for a second confusion was visible on his face. He was quick to erase it, although his brows remained furrowed. "Fine," he nodded, and couldn't help but notice the fluctuation in her heart beat, or the way her pulse felt beneath his thumb.

"I want you…" she began almost breathlessly, "to drink my blood."

The silence that followed was thick and long, and Damon sat, stunned. Slowly his fingers slackened from her wrist, before he leaned back, away from her, as she sat up entirely. There was an unexplainable desperation in her eyes, and she glanced from her hands on the bed sheets back up through her lashes at him.

"Elena, I can't…." Damon trailed off, incredulously. "I can't. You _know_ I can't."

"Why not?" she asked, and the plea in her voice was almost unbearable. "You've bitten me before, when I _didn't _want you to. I'm asking you to now, I'm _saying it's okay_."

Damon shook his head, and moved further from her. Her request frightened him, not solely for the absurdity of the idea itself, but because he _wanted_ to say yes. He wanted to yield to her, give her what she desired. A part of him wanted it too-he could remember the taste of her still, on his lips. The scent of her blood was heady and sweet, the taste of it had nearly driven him over the edge the last time.

Something in Elena's eyes glimmered, and she crawled from her spot under the covers to inch closer to him as he eased away. Her hand rested on his knee, and his eyebrows lifted in question before his gaze dropped to his lap, before lifting to meet her determined, sad eyes. "I want to be closer to you," she explained, and Damon found he had not the will to pull himself away any longer as she slipped closer; her arms, encircling his neck. "I want to be able to give you something back," she added, and the despair in her voice was hard to miss. She pressed her face to his shoulder, leaving her throat exposed and _so close _to his lips. His insides churned, and he could feel the monster, hear it even, whispering seductively in his ear to just _give her what she wants_.

"_Please,_" Elena whispered. His resolution failed him then, and despite the guilt clouding his mind, his hands snaked around her waist and pulled her more securely onto his lap. Her fingers curled into the fabric of his shirt and she clung to him as he tugged the collar of her night shirt down with one hand, the other wrapped around her, almost possessively. He lingered a moment, his lips inches from her skin, and took in the scent of her. The deafening pound of her heart, and the blood that was coursing through her veins. Damning himself for not being able to say _no_ when it mattered, Damon took a shaky, unneeded breathe before letting the hunger inside of him take over. She stiffened as his fangs sank into the side of her neck, and he groaned against her skin as her warm, sweet life essence poured into his mouth. She let out a small sigh as he began to drink. It took all of his willpower not to pin her to the mattress and drain her dry. As his body warmed with her blood, and her heart went from a rapid pounding to a slow, almost lazy beat, Stefan's dark, evil eyes flashed through his mind.

Elena made a noise of protest when he lifted his head, and he leaned forward, helping her slack body rest back against the sheets. Sated and more than a little guilty, he stretched out alongside her and brushed a strand of hair away from her clammy forehead. Her eyes reflected the moonlight, and they seemed for a moment to look silver, as she watched him. He had taken more blood than he'd intended, and even in the dark he could see she was pale. But he was rewarded with a smile-and it shocked him, for it felt truly genuine. Elena fumbled around between them for his free hand, and lacing her fingers together with his, let her eyes close.

She drifted off then, and her grip on his hand slackened. He watched her sleep for a long while, and when the sun started to rise, he pulled himself away from her. He glanced out the window to the lawn for a brief moment, before sliding it open and climbing out onto the sill. Damon couldn't escape the mounting sense of dread as he slid from the second floor to land silently on the grass below, and dusting off his jeans, raised his head to the lightening sky. What was he doing to himself? To Elena? He wanted to protect her from the things that went bump in the night; the evil that seemed to enjoy wreaking havoc in her life. But how could he protect her from that, when he couldn't even protect her from _himself_? Licking his lips, he could still taste her on his tongue, and turning away from the Gilbert house, Damon considered the notion that he truly was the monster; not Stefan.


	6. Chapter 5

Elena was not surprised to wake up alone, and as the sunlight streamed in through her window, she lay motionless in bed and let the events of the previous night replay in her mind. Her arm was sore, from where Damon had grabbed it; her throat was sore as well, from where she'd offered herself to him. Flushing a deep red hue, she rolled onto her side and pressed her face into the pillow. Birds chirped on the tree outside, giving a false sense of cheerfulness to her already darkened day. Swallowing, she propped herself up on her elbows and ran her fingers through her tangled hair.

She could still remember the pain, as Damon had let his teeth sink easily, effortlessly past her flesh and tap a vein. It had hurt, yes, but only for a second. She had experienced the bite on several occasions before, but it had never been pleasant. She had wanted it to hurt, but this time, it was not what she had come to expect. Her cheeks continued to warm, and she closed her eyes. His arm on her back had been firm, his lips to her neck, so real but nearly surreal. Their closeness, the connection she had felt, it had been unlike anything else. It went beyond physical, and thinking back to it now, she felt more embarrassed to face Damon after letting him feed off her-no, begging him to, as opposed to sleeping with him.

To his credit, Damon had denied at first, refused her request. She had seen the shock lighten his gray eyes, and for a moment, she could have sworn she'd seen fear as well in their depths. It had vanished so quickly however that she doubted herself. Throwing back the duvet hastily, she swung her legs to the side of the bed. Shrugging on her housecoat, she wrapped it securely around her slender form and marched with a tired determinedness to the shower. Jeremy was still sleeping, and she paused by his door, before heading into the washroom. Locking the door, she turned the shower on and watched as the steam rose from the faucet before shedding her night clothes. Once the water sprang from the shower head, she eased herself under the many cascading rivulets and winced as her injured arm began to sting as if in protest.

Washing herself down with soap, she let the tips of her fingers linger over the puncture wounds in her throat, head tilted up to face the oncoming water. They burned, but not unpleasantly. The sting reminded her of the intimacy she'd shared with Damon, and despite herself, she found that picturing his eyes, his smile, the way his hair fell along his forehead in an unkempt tousle, wasn't so hard to embrace. Elena hadn't known at first why she'd pushed so hard for Damon to bite her; but perhaps now, she reasoned, it came from the subconscious knowledge that even though he would never admit to it, he'd _wanted_ to do it, too. The act itself had been so sensual that it darkened her cheeks, and as she shut off the water, Elena stood naked in the shower a moment. There had been a mixture of both love as well as danger, for she knew it was hard for a vampire to control their instincts. Frowning as she stepped back onto the cool tile and began drying herself off, she briefly mulled over the possibility that Damon might _not_ have been able to pull away. _I could have died,_ she thought, eyeing her reflection in the foggy mirror. What perturbed her about that was she found she didn't mind the thought so much. Not really.

Her cell phone was ringing as she walked back into her room, and dropping down onto her unmade bed with a soft sigh, she lifted it to her ear. The Caller ID noted that it was Bonnie who was trying to get a hold of her. Grimacing, she hesitated before taking a steadying breath.

"Hey Bonnie, I just got out of the shower. Sorry I didn't answer earlier."

"It's alright," Bonnie began distracted, and Elena found it difficult to make out her words. "Look," Bonnie started, her voice muffled, "I'm on my way to school now with Caroline, do you want us to pick you up in twenty minutes? I have something I want to talk to you about." A brief pause. "It's about Stefan."

Elena's heart skipped a beat at the sound of his name, and biting her lower lip, she nodded, before realizing that Bonnie could only hear her, not see her.

"Yeah, for sure," she said hastily, getting to her feet. Rummaging around in her closet while balancing the phone between her ear and her shoulder, she continued. "I just need to get dressed, and I'll be ready. See you soon."

With a careless throw, she tossed her phone onto her bed, and sliding into a pair of underwear, made quick work of a bra. A glance to the window confirmed that it was going to be a warm day out, and so she yanked on a pair of crisp, white tennis shorts. She was about to pull on a simple, all-purpose tank top when she spied the mess Damon had made of her throat in the mirror. It wasn't terribly bad, but now that she examined it more closely, she could see the skin around the bites were bruised, and the bites themselves were deep and definitely noticeable. A give away to anyone who knew about vampires, and Bonnie and Caroline were sure to notice-and put together the pieces.

She paused, taking a moment to think, before eyeing her make-up and accessories on the dresser. Styling her hair half-heartedly with curling mousse, she flipped the drying curls behind her shoulder and leaned forward to work on her face and neck. Normally she was against wearing anything aside from mascara, but, as she lined her eyes with charcoal and glossed her lips a cherry red, she reasoned that if people were too busy looking at her _face_, they wouldn't pay attention to her neck. A few coats of mascara and some cover-up later, she leaned back to observe her work. The young woman staring back at her was different. She had a sultry curve to her glossy mouth, and her eyes which were accentuated and darkened by liner and mascara, instead of looking thoughtful , looked almost mischievous. _The hair is a nice touch_, she thought, eyeing the way it fell in full waves around her shoulders. It was different from how she usually wore it, and she hoped that it would surprise anyone who cared to glance her way, and keep them interested on her decorated features as opposed to her throat. She had done the best she could with concealer but there was only so much make-up could hide.

There was something familiar about her reflection, though. Not in the sense that it was the same thing looking back at her day to day, but something …different. Frowning at herself, she gasped as the realization hit her. She looked like Katherine.

Trying to distract herself, she turned and pulled on a light cardigan to cover her arm and snatched her purse and her binder. Shoving her phone into her pocket, she left her room without a second glance to the mirror-and bumped into Jeremy, on his way into the bathroom.

"Mornin'," he greeted, his voice still gravely from sleep.

"You're going to be late," was all Elena muttered in response, before descending the stairs and running towards the front door. He called out to her, but she didn't bother to respond as she tugged open the door and hurried on to the front steps. Caroline and Bonnie had yet to arrive, but the tightness in her chest loosened slightly once she was out in the sun. Sitting down on the steps, she balanced her books in her lap and checked her phone. Her thumb hesitated over the key pad, and for the briefest of seconds she contemplated calling Damon. _Why would you call him?_ a voice in her head questioned, _You have nothing to say to him right now. _Stefan, Elena thought, and the voice in her head sounded amused. _You don't even know what she wants to talk to you about. It could be anything. _Shut up, Elena demanded numbly, but she returned her phone to her pocket.

As if on cue, she spied Caroline's car down the street, and stood unsteadily as she pulled into her driveway. Bonnie got out of the car, as did Caroline, and they met her half-way to the vehicle. Bonnie looked upset, and Caroline breathless, if that were even possible for a vampire. She brushed a wisp of blonde hair from her face, before she blurted, "I think we found out where Stefan is."

Elena froze.

It felt as if her blood suddenly turned to ice, and were it not for her feet, which were planted firmly apart on the pavement, she would have fallen back. The cold did not leave her, and she fixed her eyes at first on Caroline, and then to Bonnie, for confirmation. Bonnie was looking at her strangely, a mild frown marring her features, before she seemed to catch herself. Nodding in response to her silent question, she pulled out a map from a duotang she had pinned under her arm. Elena took it with trembling fingers, as Bonnie pointed to Roxboro, a town just outside of Virginia.

"I've been doing some research," she explained, as Elena examined the map closely. "And watching the News, to see if there might be a hint or clue about where Klaus took Stefan. Here," she pointed to the red marker on the map, "there have been over one hundred disappearances in the past _week_."

Dread filled Elena, and she shook her head. Caroline came to stand beside her, and helped guide her to the car. Dropping into the back seat, Bonnie slid in beside her, and continued talking as Caroline backed out of the driveway.

"So, I looked up the town's local newspaper," she continued, "and in the last month, they have had more than a thousand deaths. That's _1/8__th_of their population." Bonnie looked grim as she explained, and sitting back in the seat, she continued with an exasperated hand gesture. "They _were_ calling it an epidemic, but now with the disappearances as _well_ as deaths…they're beginning to suspect."

"Suspect what?" Elena asked, distracted, eyes skimming over the map. Roxboro was on the outskirts of North Carolina. That wasn't _too _far from Mystic Falls…

"That maybe it's something supernatural. At least, that's what the News says."

"Do you think they'll think _Vampires_?" Caroline asked nervously, and Elena met her gaze through the rear view mirror. She smiled, although it didn't quite reach her eyes. Handing the map back to Bonnie, she exhaled, running her palms up and down along her thighs.

"We don't know for sure," she said, turning to look to Bonnie. "It could be _anything_." _It could be Stefan,_ a voice inside of her insisted. _What if it's Stefan? What if _he's_ the one killing all of those innocent people? _Her smile grew strained, and she turned to stare absently out the window as Caroline pulled into the parking lot. Bonnie was saying something, but she wasn't paying much attention. As they clambered out of the car, Bonnie came around the side of the vehicle to take Elena's elbow. She guided her up towards the school's main doors, and lowering her voice as the population of students grew more dense, muttered, "Something is _definitely _going on over there. It _could_ be Stefan.."

Elena turned and pulling her elbow away from Bonnie, hugged her binder to her chest. Once again, her smile felt forced, and she could see Bonnie's frown deepen. "I'll talk to Damon about it after school, okay?" she asked, trying to sound light and nonchalant, belying the growing trepidation that was starting to drown her from the inside out. "I just don't want to think about Stefan doing that," she added, and Bonnie's expression softened. She nodded, and gave her a smile as the bell rang and Elena used this as an excuse to sink back into the crowd.

Weaving her way through students, she glanced over her shoulder a few times to make sure Bonnie was going to her first period. Unable to spy her among the throng of people, she eased herself into a vacant hallway and marched with purpose, towards the doors that led out onto the football field. As she stepped out of the stadium and on to the neatly trimmed grass, she glanced around. Random clusters of students sat out on the bleachers, no doubt on their spares. Elena grimaced inwardly as a wave of nostalgia washed over her. She used to frequent this field, back when she had been on the cheerleading squad. Many afternoons spent practicing and perfecting routines. Many evenings performing them for games and pep rally's. Back when her life was normal. Or at least, when she _thought_ it was.

Finding a spot on a bleacher relatively far away from the doors to the school, Elena pulled out her cell phone and hastily dialled Damon's number. She chewed on her lip, heart thudding painfully in her chest as she waited in apprehension for him to answer.

"Elena."

Her heart nearly stopped, and she closed her eyes. Instantaneously her palms began to sweat, and taking a steadying breathe, Elena responded, "Hi, Damon."

Goosebumps ran along her thighs, and she tried to suppress a shiver. The way his voice wrapped around her name sent a flush creeping up along her skin. He sounded worried, when he'd answered the phone however, and he confirmed her suspicions by interrupting her next few words with, "I was waiting to hear back from you. Are you alright? About what happened earlier this morning, I-"

"Damon, it's _okay_," Elena cut him off, focusing on making her voice as soothing and re-assuring as possible. "We can talk about that later if you want. But I have something I need to tell you, and I think it's important." She hesitated, "it's about Stefan."

"Stefan?"

Damon sounded wary now, and she could imagine his brows drawing together in a confused line.

"Bonnie picked me up on the way to school this morning," Elena explained, "she showed me a map, and these statistics for Roxboro. It's just outside of Virginia."

"North Carolina, I know," Damon answered, his voice unreadable. "What's going on?"

"A bunch of disappearances this past week, and a thousand deaths in the past month," Elena summarized soberly. "Damon, I think maybe…maybe Stefan is there, with Klaus."

"Makes sense," Damon responded. He gave a heavy sigh, and she pictured him rubbing his temples. What was going through his mind? She wondered. "Alright, I'll look in to it. In the mean time, don't get _any_ ideas in your head, and please for the _love of God _don't mysteriously vanish." He paused, and Elena held her breath. "I'll find you, if you do."

Even though it was warm outside, Elena knew the warmth on her face wasn't because of the sun's rays. Staring down at her free hand which lay limp, in her lap, she chewed her lip to conceal a near involuntary half smile. "Okay," she said.

"Promise me, Elena," he demanded, and her smile widened, despite the annoyance in her voice.

"I promise I won't get any ideas." She thought a moment and added, "Or mysteriously vanish. But Damon," she added hastily, "if you find anything, please call me okay?"

"And with hold information from you?" Damon asked, his voice a mixture of incredulity and sarcasm. "Never."

Papers lined his bedroom floor. Graphs, articles from newspapers, photographs of missing persons. Damon's laptop was open and lay haphazardly open on his bed, where another large paper was smoothed out along the sheets. He had pinpointed the location of Roxboro, and had briefly tallied up since the time of Stefan's disappearances, the missing reports and unexplained deaths. Every mounting second another wave of anxiousness would wash over him as the dots slowly began to connect. Bonnie had done her research well.

Letting out an aggravated sigh, Damon threw a large cluster of news clippings to the floor. Raking his fingers through his hair, he whirled around to face the window. The sun was high in the sky, and not a cloud marred its brilliant blue depths. It was around noon, now. Elena had called him maybe four hours earlier, and since then he had been scouring the internet for any source of information that might lead him to Stefan. His stomach twisted painfully at the thought of his brothers name, but he ignored it and continued with his search. What he had found nearly brought him to his knees, although he wasn't exactly sure why. Despair? Agony? Shame? Maybe all of the above.

"What has he done to you?" Damon wondered aloud, looking absently out onto the lawn, eyes narrowed yet unseeing. "Leaving with Klaus was the deal," he added in a quiet mumble. "If I'd had known that giving up the only humanity you had left was part of it…." He was drawn from his thoughts when his phone began to vibrate in his pocket. Shaken from his reverie, he lifted the phone to his ear and turned abruptly away from the window.

"Elena," he began with fervour, as he stalked out into the hallway, "Bonnie was right."

Elena was silent a moment, before he heard her whisper, "I know."

"How do you know?" Damon questioned, as he fished around his pockets for his car keys. "You couldn't have known based off of just a hunch."

"I just _know_," Elena said quietly, her voice unreadable. "I know…in my heart. I could feel it." She hesitated, and for the tenth time that day, Damon felt his dead heart sink a little lower. "Do you think he can be saved?" A small fleck of hope in her voice.

"Are you on your lunch break?" Damon questioned, as he yanked open the door to the Salvatore manor. "Yeah," Elena began, "that's why I'm calling you now. Why?"

"I'll be at the school in five minutes," was his only answer. He didn't give her a chance to argue, and disconnected the call before sliding the phone back into his pocket. Dropping into the drivers seat, the car door slammed with a resonating _thud_ and he sat there a moment, staring out the windshield. Anger swarmed through him then. At Stefan, at himself. Jealousy. Even after what they'd shared, even if she truly did _love_ Damon, she would always love Stefan more. No matter how far away he was, no matter how monstrous. He came first in her heart, and as Damon started the car he gritted his teeth.

The school parking lot was relatively empty, no doubt students escaping for the brief forty five minutes they were given, to grab a bite to eat. Large groups sat out on the front boulevards and nearby and on picnic tables, laughing and chatting, eating. Completely oblivious to the terror that was starting to build in the next state over. What a nightmare it would become, if Klaus were to get away with what he was planning. So far, he was.

Elena was sitting on the front steps, and Damon was so startled that he stopped dead in his tracks. Bonnie and Caroline were sitting on either side of her, and they were talking. The chatter around him was too loud for him to pick up on what they were saying, but he wasn't interested in the slightest. He was more focused on _her face_. Her hair had been done in messy, but stylish waves and the way it fell accentuated the shape perfectly. Her lips shimmered as she spoke, and he caught the faint scent of cherry. Caroline seemed to notice him, for she pointed in his direction, and Elena turned to look. Confused, he took a step back. Her eyes were dark, and they glimmered as she slowly rose to her feet..

_Katherine, _he thought. Then she called his name.

"Damon!"

The spell was broken. He blinked, and as she approached, smoothed over his shocked expression with a look of passive boredom. As Caroline and Bonnie traipsed behind her, he scowled before casting a dry look towards Elena.

"I didn't mean bring the brady bunch along with you," he commented, and Elena frowned. He grew still as she did, the resemblance to Katherine more noticeable. Since he had fallen for her, he hadn't thought much of their looks. He could tell the difference between the two as easily as night and day. But the way she chose to dress, the way her hair was done, and her _eyes_…it disturbed him. Clearing his throat, he added, "Well since you're all here, we might as well find somewhere private to talk. Let me tell you though," he added, raising his eyebrows at Caroline, who looked mildly confused, "this won't be no picnic."

Elena shoved him off in the direction of a secluded patch of trees, in no mood for his tone. He allowed her to push him along, and glancing over his shoulder, gave her a dark smile. "Nice hair."

It was her turn to look startled, eyes widening before he noticed a flush creep up along her neck and color her cheeks. He didn't think of the blood that ran just below the skin, and he _certainly_ didn't think of how delicious it had tasted earlier that morning.

"_What_ did you want to talk about?" she asked, breathless now as he turned to face the three musketeers.

"Well, prior to our conversation this morning," he began, noticing how Bonnie cast a sidelong glance towards Elena, who was suddenly looking guilty, "I did a little research of my own. More in depth of course," he added, inclining his head towards Bonnie, "although I do have to admit keeping tabs on the News was definitely a smart idea."

"We already know," Bonnie cut in impatiently, her green eyes flashing dangerously. "So tell us what you have to tell us, or leave."

Damon mocked an expression of hurt, which slipped entirely at the look of apprehension on Elena's pretty features.

"Well I'm assuming Elena already told you. Yes, I think it's Stefan. In fact, I know Klaus is behind it. Who else could cause so much blood shed in less than a week?" He paused before continuing, sliding his hands into his pockets. "I came here to tell _Elena_ something. In private."

Caroline looked to Elena, as did Bonnie, before they shared a look of mild suspicion.

"Why in private?" Caroline questioned, "and if you wanted to tell her something, why not just call her? We're in school."

"Because I didn't know _that_," Damon remarked sarcastically. He sighed as Elena started to scowl, before lifting his hands in a gesture of exasperation.

"Fine. I'm going to North Carolina."

"What?"

Bonnie looked taken aback, Caroline's eyebrows rose, and Elena simply stared.

"I figured it'd be a good idea if I went to check it out," he explained reasonably, "what harm could it do?"

"_Harm_?" Elena questioned, her voice cracking. "What if you run into Klaus?" she began, "Even if you _do_ find them, what can you do?" she continued, frantic, "I mean, Stefan made a _deal_ with Klaus. If…if you try and do anything to mess that up, he'll kill _both_ of you."

"Stefan would rather be dead, than the monster Klaus has turned him in to, Elena."

Damon's words were even, but serious. She flinched at his words, and Caroline gave a meek smile before fumbling for Bonnie's sleeve. "You know what, why don't you guys discuss this alone for a bit?" she began. Bonnie parted her lips to protest. "We should have a say in this, Damon," she began. "We should _all_ talk about this. Don't you think it's a little _rash_? Going without a plan."

"Let's _go_," Caroline said, her smile and gentle tone of voice belying the way she tugged Bonnie along. Damon waved with a smile he didn't feel as Bonnie threw a look over her shoulder, before Caroline lead her off, and back towards the school doors. His smile fading, he dropped his hand and turned to confront Elena once more. He was ready to speak, when he caught sight of her eyes. They were watery, pooling with tears, and her lower lip trembled.

She was going to cry.

Dread filled him then, and he had to resist the instinctive urge to comfort her. He'd known, or suspected, that something like this was going to happen when he told her. Forcing himself to remain aloof, he stood his ground and cleared his throat.

"If this continues, things won't ever be the way they were," he said quietly. "Even as it is _now_ I don't even know if he can be saved. Or if he wants to be."

"What do you mean?" She asked around quivering lips.

Damon took a deep breath to steady himself, even though it was unnecessary.

"It means there is a good chance that the Stefan you _love_," he began, and she grimaced, "the Stefan who _loved_ you, and would die to protect you, is gone."


	7. Chapter 6

Arguing had ensued and Elena had nearly screamed at Damon, for a) telling her _at school_ about his 'brilliant idea' -she was heavy on the sarcasm-and b) for even considering leaving (her?) in the first place. At first he had been dumbfounded by her response, not only because he was doing this in an attempt to save his brother, but he had taken careful consideration (okay, no consideration whatsoever) into this plan, and had _assumed_ Elena would be happy that he was doing it. After all, they'd discussed it before, and she had even sounded tempted on looking for him herself. A blind search was pointless, but since Damon had more than inkling as to Stefan's whereabouts now, and taking in the massive body count that continued to grow in Roxboro, this all seemed quite appropriate to him.

"You already told me you wouldn't go looking for him," Elena hissed, grabbing Damon by the sleeve and pulling him further away from the school grounds. He followed her, confused by her distress as she tugged insistently on the sleeve of his leather jacket. They came to stand beneath a large oak tree, relatively out of ear shot of the other students. She glanced back to where the school was, before turning in a soft huff, her dark eyes blazing. Damon swallowed. _God,_ _she looks like Katherine_, he thought.

"Well," he began, sounding calmer than he felt, "Things change. You shouldn't always believe what I say, Elena," he added with a smirk he didn't particularly feel, "I'm a pathological liar."

"_No,_" Elena whispered savagely, and Damon could see the tears welling in her eyes. Her grip on his sleeve did not relent, and he raised his eyebrows. "If…if what you say is true, then there's nothing we can do," she continued, a hopelessness lacing it's way through her words. "If he's gone, if Stefan could really _do_ that to all those people without a second thought…"

Rolling his eyes, Damon lifted his hands and placed them firmly on her slender shoulders. She blinked, and a single tear rolled down her cheek. He resisted the impulse to brush it away with his thumb, and instead focused his steely gaze on her own.

"We're not like Human's," he explained, his words cold and to the point. "We're monsters who _look_ like Human's. The longer we are as we are, the easier it is to disassociate ourselves with them, the easier it is to forget what it's _like_ to be one of them. He spent nearly all of his existence fighting what he really is. Clinging," he added with mild disgust, "to the last shred of Humanity he had, instead of embracing what he had become." He relinquished his grip on Elena, and eyed her as she wiped her face carefully with the sleeve of her cardigan. "Now that Klaus has set the monster inside of him free," he concluded, "he can't control himself."

"But if he could keep doing that…" Elena started hoarsely, "He must _enjoy _it."

"Oh, part of him probably does," Damon agreed with her, and Elena winced. He glanced out to the throng of students milling about all around them. "But that's the part of him he's spent all these years ignoring. If he had accepted himself for who he _is _instead of playing these little games…If he had been more like…." Damon trailed off, and Elena raised her eyebrows. "More like _you_?" she asked, her tone condescending. Damon shrugged, and after a long moment, nodded. "Well, yeah," he replied, with a small sweep of his hands. "I mean, I've obviously enjoyed what I am a little more than he has…I'm not perfect," he added almost defensively as Elena gave him an un-amused stare. "But because I _embrace_ what I am, I've learned to live with it. But even now," he continued, his tone softening as he recalled the night earlier, "I find it hard to control sometimes."

"So you're telling me I should just forget everything that he's done, because he can't _control_ himself?" Elena asked, incredulous. The venom in her voice was gone however; a mere helplessness remained. "I don't know if I can do that…"

"You've forgiven the things I've done," Damon quipped, soberly. Elena's head jerked up, surprised. "I knew what I was doing when I did those things."

"That's different," Elena stammered, a flush creeping along her cheeks.

"How is it different?" Damon demanded, stepping closer. He didn't know why he was pursuing this with such vehemence; in the end, it was only making him look bad. But that's what he wanted, wasn't it? Damon the sinner, and Stefan forever the saint. For some reason, despite everything that had happened, the thought of Elena's image of Stefan being tainted by something that was out of his control…._bothered_ him.

"If anything, he is the _most_ deserving of your forgiveness."

"I couldn't look him in the eye," she began quietly. "You haven't slaughtered entire towns."

"Not that you know of," Damon replied dryly. Elena's gaze was unsteady, and he could read the look of uncertainty as it passed along her delicate features. With a heavy sigh, he dropped his gaze between them, before tilting his head back to look up at the sky.

"Elena, why don't we worry about all of this when the time comes? I have to _go _there first, and while my hunch is a pretty good one, so far that's all it is. You don't need to get this worked up based off of one simple inclination." he lied. "I'll be there and back within the week. You won't even miss me."

Elena's expression looked torn, and Damon knew that it wasn't as simple as that. An anxiousness began in his gut, tightening his stomach into almost painful knots at the thought of leaving her. This was something he had to do, however. Stefan had saved him…he couldn't stand idly by and watch or _let_ Klaus, for that matter, destroy his brothers' soul. No matter the deal they had made.

"What if it _is_ him?" Elena demanded, drawing him from his thoughts. "What if this isn't just a _hunch_, and you get there, and Stefan _is_ there? And so is Klaus. What will you do then? He'll kill you without a second thought."

"Elena…" Damon began, but a large buzzer cut off anything further he had to say. As if being summoned by some unseen force, all the students milling around the property stood, gathered bags, purses, backpacks and lunch trays, before heading towards the main doors. Elena threw an anxious glance over her shoulder before looking back to Damon. Stepping closer, she grabbed his hands. Her skin was warm to his cool touch, and he stared down between them as she squeezed his fingers with urgency.

"Don't go," she pleaded, her eyes betraying the emotion building up inside of her. Damon silently damned himself as he felt his resolve weaken. What was it _about_ her? "Don't go. At least….at least until we figure out if it's _really_ him. In the meanwhile, we can talk about this with Bonnie and maybe she can help us figure out a plan."

Damon pulled his hands away from Elena's, and her look of confusion vanished as he closed the distance between them entirely and cupped her face between his cold fingers. His eyes met with hers, and he stared into their depths a long moment, silently willing her to understand. He could smell her shampoo laced with her natural scent, a heady mix of strawberries and soap and just _Elena_. A warm wind picked up, disturbing the curls she had styled her hair into. Her lashes swept her cheek as she looked down, breaking eye contact and as she did, he could feel the resistance leaving her. She raised her hands and clung to his wrists, and another tear fell from the corner of her closed eyes.

"I can't lose you both," she whispered hoarsely. Damon pressed his forehead to hers, before lifting his lips to bestow a kiss just above her eyebrows. Words couldn't convey the love he felt for her at that exact moment.

"You're not going to lose me," he murmured against her skin.

Elena didn't answer, but her shoulders began to shake.

Damon's fingers slipped from her face, and her grip slackened on him as he stepped back. He watched as she hugged her elbows, and her lower lip trembled while she fought back an onslaught of tears. He hated when she cried; it killed him a thousand times over especially to know it was his fault. They stood for another second, facing one another, before Damon turned swiftly and marched back towards the parking lot.

"Damon!" Elena called, and he stopped, and turned to give her a questioning look. She still stood under the oak tree, perhaps 25 feet away. Her words were not loud, but he had no trouble hearing them when spoken.

"Come see me tonight, before you go."

Her voice was so sad, tired. Hopeless. He nodded, before heading towards his car.

Caroline lingered in the hall when Elena made her way back to the school. Bonnie was nowhere to be seen, and Caroline looked apprehensive as she mounted the steps and opened the door.

Elena was numb.

She felt as if she were sinking deeper and deeper into an endless void. All she could focus on now was putting one foot in front of the other. Basic. Mechanical. She didn't hear Caroline's concerned questions, and simply walked passed her, her hands curling into fists beneath the sleeves of her cardigan. Swallowing thickly, she glanced back towards the school doors, half tempted to follow Damon back to his car. He was probably gone, though. With a heavy sigh, she crossed her arms, and continued down the hall. Attending her afternoon classes suddenly had no interest to her whatsoever, and Elena longed to be back home in her room. Asleep. At least then, she could escape feeling _anything_ for a while.

"You know what?" Elena began, stopping to lean against a locker. Caroline had been following closely at her heels, eyebrows puckered and lips pursed with concern. "I'm not feeling all that great," she mumbled, glancing up to meet Caroline's eyes. There was a moment of hesitation, before she nodded in understanding. Taking her by the elbow, she turned and led Elena back towards the doors. "I'll drive you home."

The drive was short, and Caroline followed Elena into the house. She let her purse slide to the floor, along with her school things, and headed towards the stairs. "Wait," Caroline called quietly, and Elena turned to give her friend a questioning look. For a moment, an anxiousness set her nerves on fire. Had she heard what Elena had whispered outside on the boulevard? It was meant for Damon's ears only, although if Caroline had been listening, she would have heard it just as easily a he had. "Have you eaten anything at _all_ lately?" she questioned, and relief coursed through her.

Taking a moment, Elena struggled to think back to the last time she'd actually eaten a meal. As if on cue, her stomach let out a soft, yet audible gurgle. Caroline nodded, as if she were expecting the response, before closing the door. "Come into the kitchen," she said gently, and Elena followed. Opening the fridge, she surveyed the contents, before letting out a soft 'hmm'. Elena hadn't been worried about restocking it, and she was embarrassed by the lack of groceries. Who had only condiments in their refrigerator?

"How about I order some pizza?" she asked cheerfully, closing the fridge and clasping her hands together. "You're looking _awfully_ thin," she added quietly, fishing for her cell phone in her purse. "You're really starting to worry me Elena."

Elena could only shrug, not really sure of what else was to be said. The last thing she wanted to do was make _anyone_ worry about her well-being. She was coping, like everyone else. "There's nothing to be worried about," she said finally, with a bland smile she knew looked as fake as it felt. "Things are a little difficult right now, but I'll be okay."

Caroline lifted a finger, before turning her attention to the phone. She ordered an extra large double pepperoni pizza and breadsticks. Elena briefly wondered just _who_ was going to eat all of that, because since Caroline had become a vampire, she had little interest in food that didn't come in liquid form. She was given a small, sympathetic smile as she hung up the phone, before coming around the counter. Resting her arm on Elena's slight shoulders, she gave her a gentle squeeze.

"You talked Damon out of his crazy scheme, right?"

Elena went very still then, and the sudden urge to cry washed over her. Angry, she took a deep breathe before raking her fingers through her hair. Blinking rapidly to hold back the oncoming tears, she forced another smile onto her face. "No," she said, and damned herself. Her voice had came out small, quiet. Weak. Had Caroline picked up on the emotion? Had she realized the _real_ reason why she was so upset? "He's leaving tonight, I think," she added softly.

"B-but that's ridiculous," Caroline stammered incredulously, and a hint of apprehension laced it's way into her tone of voice. "He _can't_ go by himself. He should at least wait and talk to Bonnie about it. Maybe she can help him. If he goes alone, Klaus will kill him."

Elena nodded sullenly, and picked at a loose thread hanging from the cuff of her cardigan. She was worried about that as well. Klaus had saved him once, but only for Stefan's complete devotion. Ultimately, a year wasn't _that_ long for a vampire, and if circumstances had been different, Elena could have waited. But Klaus had managed in only a matter of months to destroy the very principles that Stefan had spent a century developing. Stefan was changed now, and deep within her heart, Elena knew that. Part of her was frightened as well, for she was beginning to doubt that if Stefan were faced with the choice of coming back to Mystic Falls or continuing on the path of bloodshed which he had been set on, he would choose the latter.

"You have to talk to Damon," Caroline continued, drawing Elena from her thoughts. "He'll _listen_ to you."

"Will he?" Elena asked, with a small, empty smile. Guilt swam inside of her for she knew that he would do nearly anything she'd ask of him. He was in love with her, and despite his sarcasm, despite his attitude, witty comments, apathetic and reckless behaviour, with each passing day she found it easier to see through and beyond, to the person who was hiding behind all of those walls. He might have been bad, he might have done terrible things, but who he had become now was a decent man. _People can change_, she thought, grimly as her mind drifted back to Stefan. Yes, people could change. For better, or for worse.

"I asked him to come by tonight," Elena said suddenly, startling herself with the sudden admission. Caroline gave her a questioning glance, before sliding into the seat beside her. She inspected her nails very carefully, before asking, "To talk?"

It was then that Elena's suspicions were confirmed. Caroline's hesitance to broach the subject solidified what she had begun to suspect after returning from the parking lot. Caroline _had_ heard their conversation, and she knew, if not everything, that _something_ was going on between them. Guilt consumed her, accompanied by shame. Unable to turn and look Caroline in the eyes, she shrugged her shoulders and said softly, "Yeah. I'm going to try and convince him to talk Bonnie, or Alaric, before he does anything."

"Oh," Caroline responded, before adding with false enthusiasm, "I'm sure Alaric will be able to talk some sense in to him."

"I hope so," Elena replied meekly, staring out the window across from her.

The pizza arrived shortly after, and Elena sat with Caroline in the living room. Caroline watched her eat a slice, and Elena realized after she'd finished the crust, that she probably only stayed to make sure she actually _did_ eat something. "I'm fine, you know," Elena exclaimed, settling her hands in her lap. The pizza box lay open, and the breadsticks were untouched. "I'm just not very hungry, that's all. I'll put this in the fridge; I'm sure Jeremy will eat it."

"Have one more slice?" Caroline questioned hopefully, before giving her a small smile. "For me? At least I can stop worrying, knowing you've eaten something."

Elena hesitated, before her eyes fell to the pizza. It _had_ tasted delicious. "Okay," she agreed, before taking another slice. She bit into the cheesy goodness and settled back on the couch. As her stomach filled, some of her exhaustion began to fade, and Elena noted that she was actually starting to feel better. Physically, anyway. She finished the second piece, before lifting her hands up in surrender. "No more," she groaned, "My stomach feels like it's going to explode."

"Good," Caroline replied, but there was no cruelty in her voice. Her smile seemed genuine, _relieved, _Elena thought, and she closed the box and gathered the things to bring them in to the kitchen. "I'll tell Bonnie you were sick," she called, as she placed the food in the fridge. "You just need some rest, that's all. You'll feel better tomorrow."

"I'm feeling better right now, actually," Elena replied, surprising herself yet again.

Caroline wiped her hands along the front of her jeans as she walked back into the living room. Her purse had been slung over a small shoulder, and she stood a moment, watching Elena as she got to her feet. "Be careful, okay?" she whispered as they embraced. Elena stiffened at her words, and withdrew awkwardly as Caroline reached for the door. "I know you'll do what's right, Elena," she added gently. Pulling the door open, sunlight filtered in through the doorway. Caroline stepped into it and her hair lit up like gold. Giving a small wave of her fingers, she continued outside and the door glided shut with a resounding _click_.

Feeling stronger from the food, Elena stood anxiously, alone in the hallway. Chewing on her lip, she glanced towards the kitchen, where her cell phone lay on the counter. _Tonight is too far away,_ she thought, before marching with purpose into the room to snatch her phone. Her fingers trembled as she dialled Damon's number, and pressing the phone to her ear, closed her eyes. _Pick up, Damon,_ she willed silently. _Pick _up.

"Elena?"

Her knees nearly buckled with relief, when, on the fourth ring, he finally answered. His voice sounded confused; worried. "What's wrong?"

"I don't want you to come over tonight," Elena said fiercely, "I want you to come over now."

"Now?" He sounded surprised now, wary.

"Please," she whispered, and she could picture his look of contemplation; brief, before he made a decision.

"This isn't a good idea," he began, although she could hear the doubt in his voice. "I don't want to make things any more difficult than they've already become, Elena."

"What are you talking about?" Elena questioned, a sense of dread washing over her. "You haven't made anything difficult."

Damon hesitated on the other line, and at his next words, Elena's heart sank.

"What about Stefan?"

"W-what about him?" Elena whispered.

"It's plainly obvious that you still love him, Elena. You're still _in_ love with him. I can't do this to him," he continued, an anguish in his voice she'd never heard before, "I can't keep doing this to you."

"I love you, Damon," Elena said quietly, her voice barely above a shaky whisper. She started to pace up and down the hallway, hugging herself with her free hand. "Please come over. I need to see you." _Before you leave me,_ she added silently. There was a long moment of quiet then, so long that Elena began to wonder if their call had been disconnected. With a heavy sigh, Damon finally answered. "I'll be there soon."

She sat by the window, waiting if not impatiently for his familiar car to turn into their driveway. The clock on the wall said it was half past two, which meant she had a few hours still before Jeremy was home from school. When the familiar rumble of the car's engine sounded, butterflies exploded in her stomach. She watched as he got out of the vehicle with a grace that was inhuman, and followed him as he approached the house. His leather jacket reflected the sunlight, and she turned to head into the front room. Opening the door, her breath caught at the sight of him standing there. Once again she was shocked at how easily he came when she asked, despite his obvious trepidation. That familiar sense of guilt washed through her, but she ignored it and instead focused on the sudden longing to throw herself in his arms. She didn't.

Damon stepped inside and glanced around as she closed the door, and turning to face him, she pressed her back to the wooden surface. They regarded each other a moment, before she couldn't stand it any longer. His arms wrapped around her protectively, and she inhaled deeply the scent of him. Pressing her face into his shirt, her arms slid around his torso to hold him as close as she could manage. He rested his chin atop her head, before finally she withdrew, and tilting her head back, lifted her gaze to meet his.

"You look different today," he said dryly, and goose bumps exploded over her skin as his icy eyes slid down between them, drinking in the sight of her.

"Is that a good thing or a bad thing?" she whispered, her heart racing. Damon didn't smile, but his eyes flashed momentarily, an emotion she couldn't quite read.

"Different," he repeated, a cool hand coming up to tilt her chin. She closed her eyes instinctively, and their lips met. Leaning into his mouth, her hands slid from around his waist up to glide over his shoulders and rest idly by his neck. He backed her up, and she let out a soft noise as she hit the door once again. Wanting more, Elena focused on his body, hard and cool, pinning her in place.

His fingers slid under her shirt, and her body arched to his touch. They glided over her skin leaving a trail of goose bumps in their wake, before sliding around to take hold of her firmly by her waist. He pulled her flush against him then, and her heart began to beat almost painfully within her ribcage. _This is what I want,_ she told herself as he scooped her up, into his arms. She clung to him as he made his way to her bedroom, but he hesitated by the threshold. He looked to her, his eyes questioning, almost as if saying _Are you sure?___before carrying her over to her bed. He dropped her there, much like he'd done at the Salvatore home, before lowering himself down beside her. Elena yielded to his touch, and stared up at him with barely concealed want as he shrugged out of his jacket and unbuttoned his shirt. She slid it off of his broad shoulders, and let her fingers run down his finely muscled chest.

_This is what I want,_ she told herself. And she closed her eyes.


End file.
